Maybe it was that Skydome hot dog...

Update: Despite the heartbreaking disappointment of his blond European nurse, the Webber was given a clean bill of health and cut loose Thursday morning. For having once survived meningitis and now kept his appendix, our friend will be featured in a forthcoming issue of the New England Journal of Medicine.

My good friend, the Webber, is laid up in the hospital this week awaiting the removal of a gratuitous appendage. While we hope that he'll recover in time for this weekend's honky tonk hijinx, it's possible that he may be convalescing in a bean bag chair, eating Cheetos and watching digital TV. A group of us are collecting money to buy him some medicinal beverages or even a new appendix. Get well soon, buddy, we're all thinking about you.